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WRITE A BAD NOVEL

by Steve Prager on May 25, 2011

Donald says, "Write a Bad Novel!"

Have you ever wished you could write a novel?  You know, like those people you see at Starbucks with their laptops and berets and half empty cups of Joe all over the table.

Well, if you answered YES –Congratulations! You have lots of company. Studies show that writing a novel ranks high on most Bucket/Life Lists.

Folks want to write a novel for all sorts of reasons: to figure themselves out, tell a family secret, leave something behind that’s more permanent than themselves, share how they see the world or maybe just relate a good yarn that’s been bouncing around in their heads.

Whatever the reason, You Can Do It! In fact,.. people all around you (your neighbors) are writing their novel as you read these words.

But I’m not a good writer”, you say.

Listen -some lucky few are born writers, but most of us struggle getting the words out.

Here’s a secret: IF YOU CAN TALK, THAN YOU CAN WRITE.

That’s right! Have you ever entertained anyone with a joke or a story? Yeah? Well, than you can write.

BIG TIP: Write exactly like you talk, with NO editing. It’s that simple…..

Let me say it again……………….Write EXACTLY Like You Talk, with NO Editing.

But what if it’s no good? I’ve read a lot of bad novels. People will laugh when they read my stuff.”

Ooooo,…the writer’s worst fear. I really felt that one. That’s a real novel killing jag you got going on there.

Listen-here’s another secret.

Decide-RIGHT NOW- that you’re going to WRITE A BAD NOVEL.

That’s right.

Say it with me……

I WILL WRITE A BAD NOVEL.

IT WILL SUCK.

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO SUCK.

I WILL INTENTIONALLY WRITE A BAD NOVEL.

ME WRITE BAD NOVEL

BAD NOVEL GOOD.

MY NOVEL SUCKS

I WILL WRITE A BAD NOVEL

There. Don’t you feel relieved? All the pressure is off.

Now…Get out your pen or your laptop and get started.

Remember,.. WRITE LIKE YOU TALK and WRITE A BAD NOVEL.

YOU’RE GOING TO WRITE THE STINKER OF THE AGES! IT’S GOING TO SUCK SO-O-O BAD!

..and you’ll have the time of your life.

See ya at Starbucks!

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Jan Jackson May 26, 2011 at 1:10 pm

As usual, loved your post. A great thing for me though, is I never had the desire to write a novel good or bad – I just like reading the ones other people write. So, I hope they take your advice and do it – smile./jj

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Steve-o May 26, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Jan, you are such a sweetie! Thanks for the great big prop.

You probably never wanted to write a novel because you’re too busy taking amazing pictures :)

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Susan, the copywriter/editor May 26, 2011 at 5:27 pm

HA! I love it, perfect advice. And if you need REAL inspiration:
http://writeordie.com/
If you stop writing, it starts erasing. Ok, there are controls you can set so if you stand up for sec, you don’t blow an hour’s worth of work. But most writers struggle with getting started, then staying with it. This kinda solves the problem. OR ELSE. Ps, not an affiliate, just a fan.

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Steve Prager May 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

Susan, thanks for the tip. I’m not sure I’m ready for that much discipline, but maybe that would be just what I need!

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Alison Hopkins May 27, 2011 at 6:38 am

Yay Steve!! Love it! I am struggling to start another novel, but after reading that, I think today will be the day! :)

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Steve Prager May 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

Alison, Thanks! You’re th real deal. How’s the contest coming along?

PS. Sometime I want to interview you- you’re reaching out and living your dream and that’s inspiring to our readers!

Reply

Mark Powers May 30, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Great post, Steve! I’m hoping my blog posts will one day serve as the genesis for said novel :) btw, how’s yours coming along?
Mark Powers recently posted..On Trust And Never Ever Looking Back

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Steve Prager June 1, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Hi Mark, That will be a great book! I’d buy one for sure!

I want to learn how to travel the globe like you do :)

I’m still working on adding more posts and mastering the ukulele! Thanks for the encouragement

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